


Memories or Wishes

by TardisTexan



Series: The Twelfth Doctor and his Wife [3]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, timebaby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-08
Updated: 2014-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-15 01:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1285924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisTexan/pseuds/TardisTexan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Twelfth Doctor finds out that River is pregnant.  The old grump doesn't take it too well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories or Wishes

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of The Twelfth Doctor and his Wife in which Twelve is the Doctor that saves River from the Library.

River Song was lying on her back in her bed smiling, very thoroughly pleased and satisfied. Her silver haired husband kissed her inner thigh, moving from his position between her legs, and laid his head on her stomach. His fingers traced circles over her hips and thighs, occasionally flicking down to tease her swollen clit and smiling at the little sounds she would make. He knew that it wouldn't take long for both of them to be ready again, and he was going to enjoy teasing her in the meantime.

His eyes were closed, listening to her breathing, listening to her two heartbeats, taking in the wonder that was River. She was so soft and so warm and.... What the bloody hell was that?

The Doctor stilled and listened with his whole body, all of his senses. “River, what was that?”

“What was what?” River said, still in a tired haze.

The Doctor stood and swept her up in his arms and carried her naked to the sick bay. He laid her on the bed and started grabbing equipment. River bit her lower lip. She had suspected but hadn't known for sure. She was going to wait to say something to him until she was positive. Of course the old idiot would figure it out before she told him.

He scanned her body, his brow furrowed. Then all of the sudden, he dropped into a chair. “Pregnant” A million thoughts ran through this mind – Baby? He couldn't be a father again, he was terrible at it. A baby would tie him down, take River away from him just when he had just gotten her back. What if she changed because of being a mother? What if something happened to it, he couldn't go though all of that pain again. What if he didn't even like it? What if? What if?

'”How did this happen?” 

River rolled her eyes. “Well Sweetie, when a man and a woman love each other very much....”

“That's not what I meant!” the Doctor stood abruptly. He gripped the table she was on and his knuckles turned white. River sat up and reached out her hand to him, “Doctor?”

He turned toward her, fury in his eyes. “How could you let this happen? How could you do this? This is a disaster!” River blanched at his anger and tears leapt into her eyes. She quickly got up and ran out of the room. 

The Doctor wasn't thinking clearly, he was only feeling anger when he heard the door to his room slam shut. River. The Doctor cursed himself and ran after her. 

He put his hand on their bedroom door and tried to open it. Of course he door would not open. He didn't know who had locked him out, River or the TARDIS, but it didn't matter did it? He wouldn't get in until one of them allowed it.

“River? Honey? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get so angry,” he said to the door and in reply her heard her run to the bathroom and wretch. He pushed and pushed, trying to get in as he listened to her being sick. He knew the TARDIS was letting him hear this as he had soundproofed their room centuries ago, very quickly after he had learned that River hadn't been kidding when she said she was a screamer. 

The sounds of her being sick cooled his anger quickly. Was she okay? Was it the baby making her sick or was it him?

When he heard her come back into the bedroom, he tried again. “River, please let me in.” Silence in return. He deserved silence and much worse from her. He sat down, naked, in the hall with his back to the door.

He was old, too old to be a father again. The previous version of him would have been ecstatic. Before Manhattan, before Darillium, before Trenzalore..... before he got so old. That is the man that River needed as the father to her child, the Doctor thought sadly. A young, fun Doctor, not old grumpy me. He remembered the numbers on the scan. It actually could have been the previous him that was the father. It could have happened at Darillium or right after he had taken River from the Library. What an insane idea, that two men separated by centuries had been just a few days apart to her. But it didn't matter did it? River's young clumsy Doctor was gone and she was left with him, a father again after all this time.

He thought about his children and his grandchildren. He remembered the joy he had felt at being a father and then a grandfather. He pictured them all running around their neighborhood playground on Gallifrey. His mind wandered on its own, him not knowing if they were memories or wishes. He was watching his children play and laugh and run up to give him a kiss on his cheek. A young girl joined them, with blonde curls and green eyes like her mother. He watched the girl play with the others. She was beautiful and sweet but she teased the boys mercilessly. She fit in with them perfectly. Gallifreyan. Of course, she would be Gallifreyan. Stupid slow Doctor. Why hadn't he thought of that. He and River together had created something magical – a Gallifreyan child.

And River would be a fantastic mother, he thought. She was so fiercely loyal and protective, but at the same time she knew when to let him run. She would know when to let their child run, to be herself. He had let his old grumpy first self be rubbish as a grandfather in the end, but River would never allow that. She had no problem calling him to the carpet now, imagine what it would be like over their child? Oh yes, she would make him better, and he wanted to be better for that adorable little girl. 

The Doctor realized he was crying. He loved River more than he thought was possible and he already loved their child even more. He could see her, see who she would be and he wanted her. He wanted to rock that child to sleep, and hold her hand going to school, and show her the stars and all the universe. 

The Doctor stood and tried the door again, this time it opened. The lights were dim, but he could see that River was lying on the bed with her back to the door. She was wearing on a pair of old sweatpants and a tshirt. He recognized the clothes as being Rory's. He sat down on the bed but before he could say anything, River spoke.

“I want to go to my parents.”

“River, baby, you know that we can't...”

“Shut up. I can't go back to Luna, they all think I died. I don't have a home anymore. Land anywhere on Earth any time near 1950. I can travel to them from there.”

“River, what are you saying? You want to leave? The TARDIS is your home as much as it is mine.”

River sighed. Damn he was thick sometimes. She sat up but didn't look at him. “You made it quite plain that you aren't happy about this pregnancy. Well, I am. And I will be happy to raise our child alone, but I would like to do it with my family around me.”

The Doctor took her hand. “River, I am sorry that I got angry and I'm even sorrier for making you think even for a second that I didn't want this. I am your family. You and me and our baby, we will make a family. Of course, I'll take you to Earth if that is what you want. But please Sweetheart, I want you both with me.”

River looked up at him, questioning with her eyes. Yes, he had a quick temper, but this was quite a turnaround. He leaned over and touched his forehead to hers and opened his mind, letting the floodgates open. He showed her his fears, his shortcomings, his worries but also his fierce love for her and for the child. He showed her the little girl with blonde curls, holding both of their hands, looking at the stars.

“Forgive me” he whispered, “and please stay.”

River pulled him down with her as she laid back down in the bed. He pulled her close and she curled around him. They lay for a long while, just holding each other, the enormity of the situation swirling around their heads. River had a very sad realization, “Doctor, we have to hide her. If anyone finds out about her......”

“We will protect her. We understand the risks now, we understand what lengths some will go to. We have knowledge and that will be our ally. And don't forget – this child has a mother that can make a Dalek beg for mercy. That is no small thing.”

River was silent for a time. “A child needs a home and friends and school. Not a spaceship. At least not everyday,” she said against his chest. “And the Doctor needs his spaceship and the stars and all of time and space at his feet.”

“Not everyday,” he replied into her curls. “River, we will work this out. Don't worry about every little thing right now. We have some time. And I will make sure that everything is taken care of. Trust me.”

Again, River was silent, thinking. “So it's definitely a girl?” she asked.

“About 7 weeks along she is.”

“What are we going to call her?

The Doctor thought for a while and smiled, “Did I ever tell you about the day you were born?”

River laughed, “Sweetie I was there, remember?”

“I know, but I mean before River Song made her grand entrance.”

“Yes, I know the story. You and Amy and Rory have all told me your versions.”

“So you know there was a very brave young girl there. She gave her life for all of us, for you and for me. She gave your mother the prayer leaf with your name on it, those powerful words that changed everything.”

“Lorna,” River whispered. She looked up at him “Lorna Amelia Song.”

“And Lorna Amelia Song will be as amazing and brave as all three of the women who gave her their names,” the Doctor said, kissing her softly. 

River narrowed her eyes at him. “Have you already met her? Have you already met our daughter?” 

“Timelines are still a bit fuzzy, I'm not sure yet. I don't know if I'm seeing memories or wishes or future time streams.” He ran his fingers through River's hair, brushing it back from her face. “But I don't need to have met her to know that she will be just as special as her mother.”

The Doctor kissed her again and started pulling at her clothes. “River, I want to see you, let me see you,” he said. And when she was naked before him, he looked at her, really looked at her. Now he could see the very small changes in her. Her face was just a little bit fuller, her breasts and hips just a little bit rounder. She seemed, softer, all over. She was beautiful. He kissed her all over, worshiping every little change and soon she was moaning under his mouth. And when he settled back between her legs, his tongue resuming the work it had left earlier, he was glad that at least this hadn't changed.


End file.
